Surprise New Lineup Joins FOX Sports NASCAR Team

Although not as wildly heralded as the extension to, and expansion of, FOX Sports’ NASCAR coverage, the racing community is buzzing over the news that the FOX Sports 1 broadcast team for all Sprint Cup races it is scheduled to air will not be the familiar trio of Mike Joy, Darrell Waltrip and Larry McReynolds. Instead, a new combination to the broadcast booth yet well-known faces to all will be reunited, as after a few years away from the limelight Digger, Marbles and Gramps will return to broadcast television as they will call the action. Annie will serve as pit reporter.

“It only makes sense,” a FOX Sports executive who wished to remain anonymous stated off the record. “It’s no secret that the NASCAR demographic is getting older. We need to bring in a new generation of fans. And kids dig the Dig. Don’t they?”

“People are boogity-ied out,” commented another FOX Sports executive who spoke to reporters only on the condition nothing he said would be reprinted in any fashion. “They now want complete honesty in their announcers. If it’s a snoozer of a race, Gramps will unmistakably say so by snoozing. Well, technically that’s all he ever does. So what? Fans wanting validation NASCAR is boring aren’t going to care that the old flea carrier couldn’t stay awake during the Apocalypse. They want snoring, they get it.”

“Annie will be a great pit reporter,” noted a third FOX Sports executive who agreed to be interviewed only via pre-deleted emails. “She’s smart, won’t take any sass from any driver and isn’t afraid to get her paws dirty. Which is a good thing, considering she’s a gopher. Besides, she’s promised no baby making until Digger finally ices that claw… er, finger, which given what a wuss he is won’t be happening any time soon. We can’t tell you what a relief that is. You know what a pain in the ass maternity firesuits are to make?”

Rumors that NBC will counter the move by bringing in the Flintstones to announce some races during its portion of the schedule are presently being investigated.